Bachelor in Paradise Recap: This is My F–king Beach!
Blake Horstmann continued to make the most of his time back in the spotlight on Monday night’s episode of Bachelor in Paradise.
In the most irritating of ways.
Last week, of course, Blake opened Season 6 of this ABC franchise by revealing he had previously hooked up with both Caelynn and Kristina, prior to exposing the former’s text messages to him as a way to defend his honor.
It was such a very not cool move.
How did the series follow-up that bombshell yesterday evening?
By airing the first rose ceremony of the season, as the stars wondered whose rose Hannah G. would accept after discovering early connections with Blake and Dylan.
The latter asked her put first, so Hannah chose Dylan and Blake ended up giving his rose to Tayshia, with whom he’d gone out on the premiere.
But she wasn’t all that into the polarizing suitor.
“There’s no way I can trust him,” Tayshia said in an on-camera interview, both candidly and intelligently.
The inaugural rose ceremony then resulted in Bibiana, Annaliese and Jane being sent home.
With this trio out, new contestants were flown in.
The switcheroo started with Jordan from Becca Kufrin’s season of The Bachelorette.
He had gotten engaged to Jenna during Bachelor in Paradise Season 5 … only to break things off with her upon learning she’d allegedly been seeing another man. Ouch.
Despite this apparent heartbreak, Jordan was oozing confidence the moment he returned.
Equipped with a date card, he pulled aside Hannah, Nicole and Kristina, quickly learning all about the mess that Blake created.
Was Hannah involved with two men? Yes. Did Jordan care? Not one bit.
“This is my beach and on my la playa, I do as I please,” Jordan told the cameras. “So if Hannah’s the one that I want to take on this date, Hannah’s going.”
This was clearly an attractive pitch, but Hannah turned him down, saying she simply can’t date three people.
For this, Jordan directed his wrath at Blake.
“I just came back to my beach and talked to a couple of girls and they’re all tearing up over this attachment to Blake,” he said, adding:
“So Blake’s the problem. He’s just leading them all on and he thinks that that’s not hurting anybody, but in the end, that’s gonna hurt several people. Not for long. This has got to be put to an end because in my position as the mayor, I’m here to look out for the community.
“I’m disappointed. I didn’t come to Blake in Paradise season 1. This is Bachelor in Paradise season 6.”
Jordan proceeded to confront Blake.
“I just walked into Paradise and on my f-cking beach – this is my beach — and got turned down on a date,” he began.
When Blake told his nemesis that it had just been a “crazy” few days, Jordon told him to shape up, “hammer it out one by one” and fix everything.
After again declaring himself the “mayor of Paradise,” Jordan went zip-lining with Nicole.
“He surprised me so much today,” Nicole told the cameras. “I was like, wait he’s a normal guy?”
Speaking of normal and awesome guys… Mike from the most recent season of The Bachelorette also showed up this week.
How was he feeling after nearly proposing to Hannah Brown?
“It took me some time to make a complete decision,” Mike told Chris Harrison.
“The point of going on The Bachelorette was to find love. I kind of got blindsided a little bit so I had to make sure that my heart was ready, my mind was ready. I feel that I am completely ready and excited for what’s to come.”
Mike quickly caught Onyeka’s eye, grabbing both her and Caelynn to talk before making his choice.
It ended up being Caelynn, as the pair enjoyed a romantic dinner together.
“This may very well be our last first date,” Mike said in an on-camera admission, a sentiment echoed by Caelynn.
“Mike makes me giddy,” she said. “Mike makes me smile and I have not felt this giddy and this happy in Paradise. I expected him to be great, but he’s even exceeded those expectations.”
Back on the beach, Blake claimed to Hannah that he was “all in,” talking a very good game by adding:
“I wouldn’t be saying the things I’m saying unless I see something past paradise.”
So these two danced and kissed, prompting Dylan to eventually step in.
“I just kind of want to focus on Hannah,” he told Blake in front of Hannah.
“I’ve expressed to her now that I clear[ed] all that up, and I am here for her and I’m pursuing her man,” Blake fired back.
“That dude is a psycho,” Dylan replied under his breath as he backed away.
Hannah’s decision to stick with Blake stunned their castmates, leaving Dylan wondering if she’d been honest with him from the start.
“Did they date before this or something?” he wondered of Hannah and Blake.
Expect that question to be answered on tonight’s episode.