Ben Affleck & Lindsay Shookus: It’s Over! Again!
Folks, it’s our regrettable duty to inform you that love is well and truly dead.
The concept of mutual romantic affection had a good run of about 200,000 years or so, but it left this mortal coil at exactly 2:54 on Thursday afternoon.
That’s when People magazine reported that Ben Affleck and Lindsay Shookus have broken up. Again.
Yes, it’s only been two months since Ben and Lindsay got back together, but it seems their love was simply too pure for this world.
Either that or Ben started banging a 20-something Playboy model again.
Tough to say, as details are pretty scarce at the moment.
An insider says it was mostly distance that drove the lovebirds apart, which seems like BS, since Ben has unlimited resources for travel, and these two had already been doing the bicoastal thing for almost two years.
“She has a kid and an ex-husband and a job in New York and Ben has his family and a job in L.A. and while they love and respect each other they just realized it wasn’t going to work,” a source tells People.
“They really gave it another solid try.”
We’re sure being separated by a few thousand miles wasn’t easy, but in all likelihood, it was a combination of factors that led Ben and Lindsay to call it quits.
Affleck checked into rehab for the third time back in August, and he may have wisely decided that his focus needs to be on his family and his sobriety at this time.
Then there’s Lindsay’s demanding work as an SNL producer.
After all, it can’t be easy, week after week, to position Alec Baldwin’s Trump wig or ensure that Pete Davidson’s garish outfits won’t cause any seizures in Des Moines.
And then there’s the issue of upbringing.
Ben’s from Boston, and Lindsay as from Buffalo.
Can any relationship endure such a heated — albeit one-sided — AFC East rivalry for very long? We think not.
Anyway, we’ve poked occasional fun at Ben and Lindsay’s relationship, but that’s mainly just because SNL producer and retired Batman are hilarious job titles to us.
At the end of the day, they both seem like decent folk, and we wish them both all the best going forward.
Although, Ben, your football team can go ahead and start sucking any day now.
This sh-t is getting ridiculous.