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Hannah Brown Taunts Luke Parker: I Boned in a Windmill! Twice!

By Max / Published on Tuesday, 02 Jul 2019 23:47 PM / No Comments / 562 views

If you’ve been keeping up with The Bachelorette Spoilers, you know that Hannah Brown’s drama continued even after the season wrapped filming.

On this week’s new episode of The Bachelorette, Hannah’s group date showed Luke Parker dramatically losing his cool.

But it was the promo for next week thet stole the show, with Hannah giving Luke a piece of her mind an some TMI: She f–ked in a windmill.

Luke Parker opposite Hannah Brown from promo

Despite throwing up red flags left and right, Luke Parker still has his unyielding handsomeness and faith-based connection to Hannah.

Those two factors are what have kept him in the running … until now.

In the teaser’s, Luke’s control issues and sexual hangups come directly into conflict with Hannah’s autonomy and human dignity.

He sits down with Hannah, saying: “So, let’s talk about sex.”

“Okay,” Hannah replies, smiling, probably wondering where this is going. Unfortunately, she soon learns the answer.

“Let’s say that you have had sex with one or multiple of these guys,” Luke P says.

When he says multiple, he does that irritating laugh, as if scoffing at the absurdity of having sex with the people you’re dating.

As he speaks, you can see Hannah’s face fall dramatically. 

She does not like what she is hearing.

Luke continues: “I would completely remove myself from this relationship.”

“How dare I be judged by a man,” Hannah says.

Lecturing Luke some distance from that table, Hannah lays down the law.

“My husband would never say what you said to me,” she informs him.

Hannah then adds: “I have had sex.”

Luke awkwardly shuffles in his feet while looking down, displaying reluctance and discomfort like a kid being told that Santa isn’t real.

“And,” Hannah says. “Honestly? Jesus still loves me.”

“Obviously, from how you feel,” Hannah then informs him, smiling through her anger.

“Me f–king in a windmill,” Hannah continues. “You probably — you probably want to leave.”

Luke stares in astonishment. “Say what?”

“Yeah,” Hannah replies.

This is … almost certainly one of the greatest moments, if not the greatest moment, of the entire season.

Even if you don’t hate Luke P as much as most of the Bachelor Nation do, watching Hannah say her piece is a delight.

“I f–ked in a windmill,” Hannah tells the camera.

“And guess what?” her voiceover can be heard saying as Luke appears to ride away.

Hannah reveals: “We did it a second time.”

She can also be seen flipping the bird as Luke rides off.

It turns out that women don’t like being slut-shamed, talked down to, or controlled by the men they’re dating. Who knew??

Obviously, the Bachelor Nation lost its collective mind at that teaser, forgetting all about the other contestants and Jed’s cheating scandal.

What’s interesting is that the conflict between Hannah and Luke P was hyped up as being along religious grounds.

The thing is that they’re both hardcore Christians who have even bonded over their shared faith.

There are tons of different religions out there. This drama is about single-issue nitpicking between theologically similar people.

And, as many in the Bachelor Nation are pointing out, this seems to have less to do with Luke’s beliefs and more to do with his desire to control Hannah.

His toxic behavior with the other men has had viewers on edge all season. Most can’t wait to see Luke sent packing.

And “I f–ked in a windmill” is my new favorite sentence in the English language.

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